I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
