i don't plan on having that self control this summer
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Randomize
