i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
