meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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