So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
