he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
