Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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