I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize