remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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