O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Boobs speak an international language.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
