i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
