So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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