what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
