Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
