And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
