Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
