AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
