is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize