Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
