ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
