I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
