I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize