I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
