: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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