that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
