2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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