I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize