so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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