I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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