PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
