a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
