i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
