I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
