I swear she didn't look like that last week.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
