you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
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Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
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I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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