Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
