You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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