I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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