Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
