ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
