it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Randomize
