okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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