So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
