Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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