So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
