Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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