Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
