There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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