their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Randomize
