We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
