I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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