Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
