It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
