one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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