i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
