I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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