dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Please, let me fuck your mom
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
last night I used snow as a chaser
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
