I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize