Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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