I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
