i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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